Help! My ex has a new partner.
It’s easy to become emotional when you hear that your ex is dating someone new. Especially if you have recently gone through a separation or divorce.
If you are currently dealing with this or you are worried about how you will react when your ex does start seeing someone new, then it may be a good idea to plan ahead. I’ve put together some simple ideas to guide you and to help manage any feelings or emotions that may come up.
What You’re Feeling is Normal
When strong feelings come up, try not to judge yourself. After all, you were in a relationship with this person, you saw a future with them and perhaps had a whole life with them. One of the hardest parts about moving on, is witnessing the person you once had so much love and care for, move on to have that with someone new.
When you move on after a separation or divorce, big emotions are natural and normal. Trust that your body and mind are moving you through this in the way that is best for you. It might not feel great, but it is perfectly normal.
Remember why you separated
When we see our ex moving on and are flooded with feelings, it can be easy to romanticise the past. It is important to remind yourself why you broke up in the first place. There were valid and true reasons for deciding to separate or divorce, and those reasons are still valid and true now.
One way to remind yourself is to write two lists. The first list is a list of everything you want in a future or current partner, and the second is a list of the reasons why you decided to end things with your ex. Then compare the lists and remind yourself what you’re looking for in someone and why your ex cannot meet these. This exercise will hopefully provide the clarity you need.
Be Positive About Future Love
There is someone out there for you to share your life with, someone that will make you feel joyful and content. While it may seem far away or impossible, have faith. There are many wonderful people in the world, and if your ex can find someone great, so can you!
Think of Your Children
If you have children with your ex, one of the best things that you can do for them is learn how to manage your emotions in relation to your ex. Showing them that you can be happy for your ex and co-exist in a healthy or even caring way, creates a safe space for your children. You will also be setting a great example for them.
No matter what stage you are in of your separation or divorce, it’s best to keep in mind that your partner will move on and should move on. Both you and your partner deserve to be happy, so try to embrace the change that is occurring.
If you are going through a separation or divorce and need legal counsel or a mediator, get in touch with me today by clicking here. I will work hard to understand your story in order to provide representation you can rely on when you need it most.